If NWSL coaches had a group text

During the broadcast of the Seattle Reign vs. Washington Spirit semifinal, the commentary team mentioned a hypothetical NWSL coach group text.

What follows is almost certainly a verbatim transcript of this chat, were it to exist in the first place.

Tom Durkin: guys I got fired

Aaran Lines: omg

Mark Parsons: u ok there tom

Randy Waldrum: I'm very sorry this is a difficult time for you Tom.

Tom Durkin: yeah they actually let me resign first

Paul Riley: BETTER THAN SOME PEOPLE GET

Paul Riley: COULD BE WORSE

Tom Durkin: ...

Rory Dames: hes got a point

Tom Durkin: well at least I'm staying as an academy coach

Paul Riley: SEE

Randy Waldrum: I'm sure you'll do very well in the academy.

The Harvster: congrats on the new academy job tommy 

Tom Durkin: it's not actually a new job I got fired

The Harvster: my bad I'm knackered had to stay up for some phone calls in Europe

Mark Parsons: ...

Mark Parsons: what were u doing calling Europe

The Harvster: don't worry about it Marky Mark 

Vlatko Andonovski: this chat is supposed to be for official use only

Paul Riley: YOU'RE FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY

Vlatko Andonovski: that doesn't make sense

Jim Gabarra: boston breakers tom durkin fired

Tom Durkin: what the hell

Mark Parsons: jim you're in chat again this isn't search

Jim Gabarra: oh sorry, sorry Tom

The Harvster: lolololololol 

Tom Durkin: well I guess I'll see you guys around or something

The Harvster: new phone who dis

Tom Durkin: very funny Laura

Paul Riley: hey can you give me your GM's phone number